I Hate Jazz

Possibly my first complete songwriting experience from composition through to recording. This is either from grade 8 or 9 following a school jazz band trip. I remember feeling especially clever about the slowed-down blues solo bit.

At the end of the track there is a brief slice from the hours of two-track guitar solos I recorded using Dad’s reel-to-reel tape recorder, most of which is now lost. I think the jazz song was recorded on tape too, but I’m old enough by now that some memories aren’t as clear as they once were.

Luckily for me, songs like this take me straight back to feeling 14 again. It’s funny – I can imagine the struggle of playing that crappy Canora electric guitar like I just put it down. There must have been a gap of 2 cm between the strings and the neck…

Profound text:

We went to Bemidji
with our school stage band.
It was not exciting
It really was quite bad.

We listened and we listened
To people who did suck.
I wonder how we beat them?
We must have had good luck.

I hate jazz.

There were these big jazz experts
Who thought that they were cool
When actually in real life
They were just stupid fools.

After the whole weekend
We all deserved some stogs
But we were under some surveillance
Being watched by some old fogs.

I hate jazz.

Don’t you know it drives me crazy?
Something I can’t ignore.
Three long days of listening
I can’t take it anymore…

We slept in a motel
Beside a restaurant
But we all had big headaches
No more jazz did we want.

The music got annoying
The CDs didn’t sell
We told those dumb musicians
That they could go to hell.

I hate jazz.

I hate the stupid trumpets
I hate the dumb trombones
I wish that I could kill them
With big huge ugly stones.

I hate all the offbeats
I hate the harmonies
I hate the directors
That pay the entry fees.

I hate jazz.

Well, that’s enough time spent on Basement Classics for today – I think I’ll head out to The Jazz Room and check out tonight’s show…