Emu Bash

True story.

Emu Bash – Lyrics

Way back in the 1990s
There was a great deal going ‘round
Farmers growing emus
For ground meat by the pound

The price of birds was soaring
No spare birds or eggs could be found
For starting up your own flock
To get in on the ground

Then a strange thing happened
The prices dropped like stones
It turned Emu meat tastes like dust
And comes with real big bones

Way down near Crystal city
One farmer had been had
And then one night his flock got loose
And things got awful bad…


The emu price went up
Then the emu price went down
And when those prices bit the dust
There were no answers to be found

The emu price went up
Then the emu price went down
When 30 emus broke their pen
It took a whole day to drive them down


This man from Crystal City
Which is really just a town
Well, this man he had some boys
And this man, he had a gun

He also had his marbles
Wouldn’t throw good money after bad
So he kept his ammunition
And gave his boys the keys to the pickup truck instead

He said, “Boys, you’ve got a job to do
Go run those emus down
The fields, they’re all in stubble
Don’t stop until there’s none around”

So the boys with glee went driving
But the job it took all day
‘Cuz every time the truck’d speed up
Those slippery emus would run the other way